The world is waiting for us to step back into our power.
The world does not need us to give in the selfless way we’ve been fooled into behaving and performing. The world needs us to heal ourselves and fully embody what it is to be nourished and alive.
Our survival depends on our wholeness.
All of us that embody the varied aspects of WOMAN – whether that be through our identities, our archetypes, or our gender – have massive amounts of healing to do. The time to come into wholeness, clarity, and influence is NOW. The survival of our communities and our planet depends on how deeply and fully women are SHOWING UP.
We deserve to be the experts on our own experience.
The experts on our bodies. On the way we feel. On what we deeply desire and what we will not stand for.
This power is important. It is sacred. It is perhaps the most sacred thing.
who am i?
I'm Stephanie Lynn Tanner... bear mama of three, fierce protectress of the earth, and keeper of spaces for all of us one juicy mistake and revelation at a time.
My work and purpose on this planet is to debride the wounds of the world so that healing can occur. My medicine is a tender fearlessness towards suffering, a been-there-done-that approach that is both comforting and sobering. I'm passionate about going to the scary places and showing up in my raw, imperfect wholeness to heal them and to embolden you to do the same.
I have ten years of experience holding intimate spaces for women and genderqueer folks. I am a full-spectrum doula, a registered nurse, and a community health worker. I am a life-long student of the herbal arts and integrative reproductive and sexual health.
I believe emphatically that every single person holds the power and wisdom for their own healing and that part of the path to remembering our power is being witnessed deeply.
So I am here to witness your healing. I am beyond honored that you're here.
on the blog
The knowledge of what happens during the first few weeks and months after birth is going through a bit of a renaissance right now (thank goodness), but that doesn’t mean we all know what the hell is going to happen, or that certain myths and misconceptions don’t persist. Let’s be real- postpartum healing can be mystifying, confusing, and even troubling, so it’s easy to default back to our culture’s groupthink about what it should be like.
I wish I could say there are a ton of resources out there to support you postpartum, and that I’m farming them to supply you with the best ones here, but I’m not. Compared to birth and pregnancy information out there in the world, it is difficult (or at least it has been) to find equally as focused, comprehensive information that is devoted to postpartum healing. So in an effort to help you get the most out of what is available, I’m listing what I think is truly indispensable.
In such a vulnerable time when nerves are often jangled, nobody’s getting much sleep, and you’re all trying to adjust into new roles, things can get messy. So to avoid miscommunication, hurt feelings, and resentment- and to actually enjoy this time and help your partner feel like they are rocking their new role- consider the following suggestions.
This is the paradox- opening enough so that we’re not letting the violence take up all the space in us, staying awake enough to feel what the root of the hunger and pain is, and getting clear and grounded enough to not waver when our surroundings tell us otherwise, when the men around us disappoint, when we feel rocked out of place by the harmful shit playing out.
Do we have a fighting chance at creating a social institution in the US that allows us to heal from the ordeal of pregnancy and birth, bond with our babies, and adjust to parenting so that we can function WELL in society?
Maybe. But a few things are necessary.
"She will not wait for us. She does not need us like we need her. But that same joy, anger, and fear is what the earth is holding for us still. She is still here for us. We need to be here for her. "
If you feel like it’s within reason to reach out for support so you can recover during the first few months after birth, you’re right! For better or for worse, you’ll probably have to rally this support from scratch and you’ll need some strategies to do so.
"It's our responsibility to take back our rite of passage into motherhood, to take back our lying in and fourth trimesters. This is highly individualized and only we know what this looks like for ourselves."
"The simple act of consciously holding deep gaze with someone is a profound exchange of energy- in many cultures looking directly into someone's eyes is considered rude and intrusive. For me, it puts me right up against my impulse to hide, to stay small and unseen."
"Because personal growth and spiritual development is nothing without embodiment- we cannot sustain it, we can not fully embrace it into our being without integrating it physically and asking our body to come along"